Married, Divorced & Dating

#88 - The Holey Gravy Handy

Dirty sweaty sex anyone? Are you a pre-sex showerer, or just get in there and do it kind of person? 
 
We have another amazing anonymous guest story, where they get a first hand experience at saying grace around the dinner table while enjoying a happy meal.
 
Carl has some questions about ‘fanny’ that he really wants to ask Rachel as a ‘fanny’ owner.
Frontal wedgies, clit tingles, fanny flutters we cover it all! 
 
Happy Listening! 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Tessa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tessapaisan
 
Want to email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bedtime toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
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Happy loving

#87 - The Sex Party, "I ate so much pussy that night" with Tessa Paisan

Ever wondered how much protein and vitamin C is in a load of semen? Don’t worry, we've got you! 
Glory hole roulette or a pussy eating buffet, wondering what goes on at a sex party? Thankfully, we are joined again this week by our good friend Tessa who can fill us in about attending an alien space-themed sex party, where she got to have a lesbian orgy in a spaceship, making girls cum right in front of their boyfriends! 
We then touch on self value and not accepting anything below the bare minimum! A nice reminder from Carl and Rachel to value yourself, and give and take the bare minimum! If you want longevity in a relationship, you NEED to give 50/50
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Tessa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tessapaisan
 
Want to email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving
 

#86 - "Fingering their boyfriend in front of them"

Titty mic sucking ASMR, pashing Carls wife, shaved butt holes and fart porn….
After our discussion on cuckholding last week, Rachel just so happened to go out for brunch with a friend who had a story to tell about his experience about a once in a lifetime opportunity involving cuckholding with an incredible view in on of the tallest buildings in London that he stumbled across on grinder!
Instagram served us an incredible video around self value which is so important, and especially for all the females out there to hear so we thought we should share this with you all to share with all the females in your life! 
Episode 86, let’s go!!
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
 
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving

#85 - ‘A guy for breakfast, a girl for desert ’ with Tessa Paisan

Roly poley blowy, 15min wank gap, and everything in between! Another life and sex catch-up with Carl and Rachel before we head into the good stuff!
We are joined by the incredible Tessa from LA who opens up about marching to the beat of her own drum, and is so open to all things sexual, plus challenges the status quo! She’s got plenty of stories to tell, however this week she kicks it off with a bang - or two!  She delivers an amazing story from her last trip to London and how she really got down and made the most of her time, right to the last minute! 
We are blessed with another DM from a listener wanting to know some advice on a scenario she is having with her boyfriend at the moment, have you been in the same situation? What have you done? Or what would you do?
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Tessa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tessapaisan
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving

#84 - ‘I want to try it with a women before getting married’

We recap on last weeks dirty talk to see how much Rachel learnt from Carl and see how it went in the bedroom in real life
 
After another week of digging into the archives, we bring up an old chat with award-winning comedian, Nick Rado where the tables turn and he ends up interviewing us! We touch on Carl’s journey to parenthood, self-love, anal, and new lessons in every relationship passing, and how to be the best person you can be! Its very insightful! 
 
Plus this week we receive another anonymous letter from a listener asking for some advice on wanting to get with a women before getting married. We’re not experts, but we give our 10c on what to do if we were in this situation!
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Nick’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nickradocomedian
 
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving  

#83 -How to Dirty Talk -Did That Make Your Seat Wet?

The grapefruit method has made its way back form the youtube grave! Have you tried it? Will you try it?
Rachel needs some help with her dirty talk so turns to ChatGPT to help! Does the robot or Carl help more? 
We have also dug into the archives and found an amazing story from our friend Emma about dating in Dubai! How would you find this date?! 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Emma’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emflamingo
 
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving  

#82 - Communication, Boundaries, and Sex with Ben and Jaz

Welcome back and thank you for joining us in 2024! We’re so happy to kick this year off back in the studio together as Rachel has been flown back to the country for two months of work, and to tour with her boyfriend 👀
Hear all about her struggles with settling into London, and navigating her first relationship after marriage (5 years ago), and an update on Carl finding balance in his beautiful family life, plus his nipple kink! 
 
Our guests this week are the incredible Ben and Jaz, who you may know from social media as @Onlyben_and_jaz 
They open up to us about clear communication in a relationship, setting boundaries, what they learnt in their ‘30 days of Sex’ challenge, PLUS let us in on their next challenge deep diving into kinks. This is a great listen with a tonne of valuable information!  
 
Then, we have one of you amazing listeners reach out anonymously asking the question about navigating your partner watching porn to masturbate. Carl and Rachel give their personal opinions to help navigate the conversation if it is a concern in a relationship.  
 
Strap in, let's go!!! 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Ben and Jaz’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Onlyben_and_jaz
 
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving 

#81 - Road head hunting

#81  - Roadhead hunting
How long should you be dating someone before you enter their family chat? 
We would love to hear your thoughts! 
 
This weeks guest, another listener submitted a very adventurous roadhead story, which is absolutely classic! But please, don't try this at home! 
 
Then we go way back down memory lane to Rachels's wedding where one of the grooms friends tries to fight her dad! What a yarn! 
 
And until next year… alright, seeyaah! Happy holidays everyone <3 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
 
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving 

#80 - Anal 101 with Morgan Penn the Sexologist

You are in for a TREAT with this episode! We are joined by the insanely amazing Morgan Penn, a certified Somatic Sexologist who gives us the best step-by-step guide to easing your way into anal for beginners.
She shares some insightful tips and tricks to make this experience a lot less daunting.
 
But first, we are treated to an incredible remix of a song from Rachel’s boyfriend which we really need the world to hear and we need your help to get this songs out there! 
Plus we are blessed with another anonymous guest story, how far would you travel for sex? 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Morgan’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morganthesexologist
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving 

#79 - “OMG I pulled his pants down and…”

Welcome back to another week of unfiltered shit chat! 
Carl has come up with a twisted game for all the voyagers out there! Could be a bit of fun! Let us know if you're up for it! 
Rachel has also found a way to really kill the mood when about to get down and dirty, 
But luckily Carl has put the boots and underwear test to use, and saved the sexy.
 
Our guest Dan this week shares the great length he went into for a one-night stand when on a holiday with the boys - luckily he packed his iPod touch…. 
 
We then tap into more Icks, this time in reverse to last week - hear Carl’s input! 
 
Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/
Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/
Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/
Dan’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.dan.experience
Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com
 
Intro Music: Neill Fraser - Married Divorced & Dating Theme
instagram.com/neillfraser/
 
P.s  If you want to get 10% off the next addition to your bed time toy box, use code MDDTALES10  here: https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/
 
And if you don't know where to start? We’ve left a few of our suggestions here for you:
https://adulttoymegastore.co.nz/affiliate/mddtales/
 
Happy loving